Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Indian Dreams

I’m sorry if the title suggests another of articles glorifying so alleged great economic strides taken by India. Lately, it has become a fashion of sorts, with every fool with no future of his own mapping Indian future with great intricacy and irrational arguments. It isn’t about any of this pseudo intellectual stuff but of modest dreams of an ordinary, middle class Indian. If I am not mistaken there are only two dreams of an average Indian male. First of a beautiful (no less than aishwarya) girl (earlier it was for a prospective wife and now of course for something else!) and other of a good job. Earlier a good job meant a sarkari job with a plush cabin which has now been replaced by an IT job (minus the cabin). As I count last minutes of a boring and monotonous day at office, I dare say I have partially achieved Indian dream (minus the girl of course). Looking at intangible, incomprehensible (I’m running short of synonyms) infinitely long codes blaring of my monitor, reminds me of two basic questions echoing within me from eons:
1. Why did I become engineer?
2. Why did I choose an illustrated software job?
Concentrating on the root cause itself, life takes me to the last of my board exams of X standard. With three months of eagerly awaited holidays (not that I studied very hard for my boards!) and a plan of Appu Ghar for next day, I reached home to one of the biggest surprises of my life. My life has never been the same since that day. One of my school teachers was awaiting me with an entrance test form of a prestigious coaching institute, which supposedly was to realize my parent’s dreams and aspirations. The dream was of a seat at sacrosanct IIT (irony it may seem, entrance for an institute who is preparing you for an entrance exam in the first place itself. Welcome to shining India!!). The night day seemed to be one of the biggest of my life, as I started evaluating my alternatives. I liked movies (everyone does), I could have become a bollywood hero, but for my looks. I could have become a director, but didn’t had any direction of my own. I could have become a cricketer, but wasn’t talented enough. Crossing every option I was left with no other option but devil itself.
As tutor wrote an intangible (Gosh!! this intangibility has struck to me ever since) differential equations describing motion of a stone (Had stone knew complexity of its motion, I swear it wouldn’t have moved its whole life.), I knew my dark ages have begin whose renaissance is still awaited by me. This was followed by aeroplanic (please bear with this word), figures of organic compounds. Casanova H used to join any of O girlfriends depending upon the mood (solvent) and we brahamchari’s were told to follow his romantics and predict his next move. Those equations and aero planes make me feel like dyslexic (Taare Zaamen Per Hein have glamorized this word.) even today. Two years of dark ages followed with a curfew on movies, cricket and anything remotely useful and then came the day of pre Armageddon (big day was at a distance).
I sat in examination room with a bundle of sheets, which people were referring to as question paper, staring at the meticulous students cribbing on rough sheets. I knew absolutely nothing and marked the choices as per my wishes (intelligence, it should have been!!). I knew I would never get selected and my parent’s dreams would be shattered and mine would be re ignited.
After a month of respite result were declared and by God’s grace (rather disgrace) I passed the preliminary hurdle. As a penance to one month break my desk was flooded with even difficult study material with every conceivable metaphorical nomenclature. This was supposed to prepare me for final hurdle, but really broke the wrestler itself. Curfew became more stringent and emergency replacing democracy was declared. Day of Armageddon (8 hours of mental torture!!) was followed by a two month period of giving other less illustrious entrance exams. As the day of result approached my parent’s were becoming more and more restless and were amazed at my indifference and calmness towards the results.
This time results came on expected lines (my expectations, I mean) and I was treated by another shock from which I am still recuperating …………………………….

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I wish I could say -" incomprehensible and Untrue" but as beautifully written ..it is a truth..very well converted in words...Dude way to go...ab ladki bhi mil jayegi :)

Abhijit Raja said...

sahi aat likhi hai bhai.....
main bhi abhi tak soch rha hun ki maine JEE kyon diya......

Unknown said...

Gud n funny.........includes, may I say a lot of "aeroplanic" words n imaginations...bhai agli baar thodi simple angreji likhiyo.........tere is not so intelligent bhai ko kaafi dikkat ho rahi hai samajhne me........khaas kar jab uski Baron bhi koi g****u le gaya hai.......
Waise kaafi acchha hai........lage raho.

Kris said...

Brilliant imagination mate! even to my usually over critical eye, this post seemed very good :) more similar posts please... keep it coming :)

rainman said...

Coming back from office, needless to say tired, your writing brought a sparkle of joy by reminding of stupidities of life...

Honestly i dnt had a clue why I did then and why I am doing it now :)

Gaurav

Ving said...

Kya baat hai bhai ......
par ye kya "I could have become a bollywood hero" -- hehe haan aur BHU ki ghaans kaatne wali teri heroin (you can still make a movie -"main bhi shakti kapoor banana chahata hoon " :)) .
I hope by saying "brahamchari’s were told to follow his romantics and predict his next move" you don't mean you here are the brahamchari , because you have mentioned in your text that you are a part of the indian dream .

And here in your blog i also found inspiration for aspiring IITians , all those who are , please pay attention to "I knew absolutely nothing and marked the choices as per my wishes" see its that simple folk's .

Anonymous said...

First of all paras babu please try to use a bit easy language if you really wanna us to post our comments. What could any one write if he/she aint getting anything...lolz!!

Truly said by Paras that getting through IIT was a dream for all of us . I was really happy to take admission in IT BHU and in the days to follow it was obvious to me that what is it.
Paras is really lucky saying that he's achieved one of the two dreams highly coveted by Indian Male (that of good job) and he's yet to achieve the other one ( to get a good wife).

But if I am putting it rightly (may be it doesnt apply to Paras) "Grass is always greener at the other side"
or precisely "doosari ki biwi aur doosro ki car hamesha acchi hi lagati hai".
May be this is the reason why good job and good wife have been the dreamz of Indian Male (because they are never satisfied with what they possess.

Franky I never wished to see my self as a Hero or a director but yes I always wanted to do something different. Something different from the league. Like Paras I was shocked too to see my JEE results (this wasnt the different i was dreaming of). I joined mining in BHU this was different but I joined IT industry was something where I started to loose my IDENTITY.
These days most of the times I retrospect to find it out where did it all go. All the dreamz and all the enthusiasm, all has gone to vain.
How many time do i need to prove myself.
At this juncture the name of this blog really encapsulates my thought process "I wish I could say this aint the thing I wanted"........But alas I have nobody to listen me. Only I have to understand me.